Twenty-Third Sunday of Ordinary Time-C
Following Jesus is not easy. It is especially challenging when the message of the Gospel is hard to digest. Such is the case when hearing the words of today’s Gospel without reflection or caveats. Jesus informs the crowds what is necessary to follow him. “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”
To many people, Jesus’ words are harsh. The notion of hating those closest to you would seem to go against everything we have taught about Christianity. We would rather gloss over the words and quickly return to the warm, fuzzy feeling we create to make our Christianity palpable. Mature people know running away is not an option when things are tough. As mature Christians, we will tackle the words head-on. But a vital nuance is necessary before taking the teaching of hating those we love literally.
The approach is to understand the word “hate” in context. Merriam-Webster defines hate in English as intense hostility and aversion. The secondary meaning is extreme dislike or disgust. Jesus does not suggest we hate our loved ones with this motivation. He uses the word “hate,” which is in the context of the Hebrew definition, not the English one. Hate in Hebrew is as passionate as the English translation, but doesn’t refer to personal aversion or disgust. Instead, hate in Hebrew means a detachment from something or someone. It implies a desire for independence from individuals and earthly things.
From this perspective, Jesus’ teaching must be comprehended differently. Changing the word hate to detachment significantly changes its meaning. Jesus’s words now mean we must detach from our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, and so on. We don’t recoil quite the same because, through our human experience, we have come to accept detachment as something quite natural and normal. Recall the Book of Genesis, making the point quite clear. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, becoming one body.” Marriage intends for the new couple to detach from their parents and create a new family that is connected but independent of the one they have come from.
Other examples are abundant throughout our lives. A child grows and becomes less dependent upon his or her parents until he or she is ready to take on the responsibility of caring for the next generation. Detachment is necessary for the propagation of the human race.
The same applies to spiritual life, whereby we are called to grow in holiness and spiritual courage. Children are not apt to sacrifice and pick up their crosses, and many adults don’t without a reason. Christianity gives the reason: By suffering and sacrificing, we follow in the footsteps of our Savior by working with his grace to obtain eternal life. Everyone wishing to live with him in heaven must ascend their Calvary and accept the cross.
Spiritual sacrifice and suffering do not come naturally. Our spiritual strength and belief must override the urge to avoid these things. Inherent in what was just mentioned is a detachment from our former life of cowardice. When it comes to hating a father, mother, etc., the detachment necessary is to acknowledge that these relationships are essential at certain times of our lives and cherished, but will come to an end. Without detachment, we will stay in one place and not grow; no matter how we wish to remain there, it will end because they are not eternal. Only our relationship with God offers the potential of life everlasting.
More than just the ultimate question of life and eternal life, a Christian must learn to detach from things that keep him from growing spiritually. Some of these are personal defects, perhaps a lack of compassion, patience, or similar failures. Some of them might be how we approach the world and other people. Those inadequacies must be pruned for us to be holy. The pruning is nothing less than a detachment from our old ways. St. Francis Assisi knew the need to detach when he lived a purposeful life of poverty, helping him to spiritual growth that many do not obtain. His prayer, as a good example for us, indicates his desire to move away from things keeping him back. We must strive to do the same.